He’s perfect – we are having GREAT dates – seems to be a match – FINALLY! Wait…he’s back on line?


For all of you internet daters out there, I know you know what I’m talking about in the title of this week’s blog – I have actually been accused by my best friend of being an “internet stalker”, but the truth is that “yes” I pay the extra $8 on one of the dating sites to remain anonymous. This allows me to look and see that the person I’m dating is still going on-line and looking at other women per my assumption (he cannot see on-line that I’m looking at him). BOY IS THIS DISHEARTENING! WHY AM I NOT ENOUGH? And the worse part is that I cannot tell the person I am dating that I know what he is up too because he will think I’m internet “stalking” him. NOT COOL per my best friend. My ego is at stake you know. I get it.

Now I’m sure some of you reading this might say “Leslie, can’t he do the same thing and see that you are on-line too?” The simple answer is “yes”. Please allow me to make a case and point, as I recently ended dating a boy/man I really liked because I couldn’t bear that he wasn’t “so into me” that he couldn’t wait to get off line and start a real relationship with me. He was clearly still looking.

For example, one night we were chatting and I asked him if he could call me back later that night. He said “yes”, but then I didn’t hear from him. No return phone call as promised. The next night he called me to say he was so tired that he fell asleep. And yet, of course my internet “stalking” allowed me to see he was on-line about 10 p.m. that night! Why didn’t he call me back? Why did he want to keep looking?

Another time I had the audacity to ask him to check out my blog (which I am proud of) and he said “Oh, Leslie, I’m so busy with my job that I really don’t have time to be on-line too much”. Guess what folks? That very same night I saw he was on-line on that darn dating site about 11 p.m.!

As I am writing this, I am SO CONFIDENT he is not reading my blog as he is too busy surfing the dating sites, that I’m pretty comfortable blogging about him. And heck, if you are reading this “Mr. Too Busy” – you now know I’m an internet “stalker”. Heck, the fact that he is a boy/man, if he really does read this, he may actually want me more now!!!! LOL (doubtful)

The moral of this story is I finally “took my cue” and bowed out gracefully. It was the “nicest”, most civilized break ups I’ve ever had with a boy/man. Very, very pleasant as a matter of fact. So I wish him “happy surfing” – and I wish this for myself.

Thanks for reading….another Sunday for blogging and for sharing truth telling about my internet dating…


2 thoughts on “He’s perfect – we are having GREAT dates – seems to be a match – FINALLY! Wait…he’s back on line?

  1. Here’s what I’ve found over the years… don’t waste your time with internet stalking, or any kind of stalking… and yes I’ve done it–several times. The conclusion has ALWAYS been, that the person I stalked was NEVER worth the time, energy and anxiety. EVER. THe truth was I didn’t trust my instincts and mostly I wasn’t good enough about myself. My advice is, if you feel COMPELLED to do it, then really there’s something in your gut that doesn’t feel right about this person, that you feel like you need to confirm your suspicions. When something is right, you know it. You’re internally AT EASE. I feel that way with the guy Im seeing now. I never felt compelled to stalk him. And trust me, I have with many men in my past and wasted many an afternoon feeling bitter by my discoveries. Trust and let God flow through you, Leslie. Don’t waste your energy. If it feels wrong, it is. Move on.

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