Keep your money in your purse….it’s his job to pay!


Happy Sunday. I must warn you up front, I just completed my 4th Annual NY City Half Marathon, so I’m a bit tired and “edgy” which is why I feel ready to “tackle” this very important topic if you are dating. I understand it is a bit controversial among both the boy/men and the women I discuss this with, but I feel VERY strongly about the fact that when you are meeting a boy/man for the first time, you must let him pay. Here is why:

1. IT IS SPIRITUAL! You may think I’m “crazy” in saying this, but on a spiritual level where gender roles are critical, it is so important that the boy/man “feel” like a boy/man. How do they feel their masculinity? By being the caretaker and the provider to the female. Women, if you take your money out of your pocket, you are taking away his so very important gender role. Don’t leave him feeling less of a man. Very bad for the spiritual connection between you two that you are trying to develop.

2. Letting him pay AFFIRMS YOUR ROLE AS THE MOST VALUABLE WOMAN YOU ARE! You are gorgeous, smart, worthy of being treated like the Queen that you are. Let him know this by allowing him to treat you. He must sense that he is out with a person of value, worthy of being treated. Please make sure he thinks this NO MATTER WHAT. Keep your money in your pocket or your value as a woman runs the risk of diminishing in his boy/man mind.

Then, make sure after your first date of coffee, he asks you out for dinner or dinner and a movie, or theater, or something more substantial for the next date AND YET AGAIN, HE PAYS. No money offered gals, PLEASE, not even the tip.

If things are going well, of course you can treat on the 4th or 5th date. Always nice to make him a home cooked meal. More important is to give time, time. Nuff said.

Happy Dating. Happy Sunday. Thanks for reading.


7 thoughts on “Keep your money in your purse….it’s his job to pay!

  1. Cristine

    Paid my way for 3 years with one guy. I told my father this how it was with this fellow — he was mortified and told me DO NOT PAY FOR YOUR DINNER tonight… I actually sat on my little purse so I wouldn’t feel tempted. It was a very long evening and when the check came it was stared at for what felt like an hour. I did not pay, and I think we broke up shortly after that.

    It’s all about self worth. Took me 42 yrs to get there….

  2. I love your second point, you are worthy of being treated well. I agree it affirms their masculinity by being the provider and caretaker. Plus it does feel nice to be taken care of and thought of as worthy. Enjoy it! I always offer to leave the tip if it was great service and I had a good time. Is that a big deal? On a second date I let him pay for the activity (though I got us a good discount-can’t pass that up!) And I had said I would pay for dinner. However he did offer to pay, so I think he’s more than decent. I was very impressed by our 3rd date, a broadway show and lovely dinner. I did feel like I was being treated like a Queen. Personally, I can’t wait till the 4th or 5th date but I see what you mean.

  3. Elle

    If you have meet a man who is interested enough in getting your contact information and has pursued you to the point that you are actually on a date with him…then it is his responsibility to pay! Men are hunters and if they find something they want then it is on them to assume the responsibility of paying your way.
    I recently went on a dating website. I posted pictures of myself and let the site do the work for me. I did not pursue anyone because I have learned that it does not do a girl any good to chase a man, let them come to us. So those that really want to meet me, see me, date me and get to know me…they are the ones who should be prepared to cover the bill.

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