Calling all boy addicts! Its ok to be alone.

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Happy Sunday.  I’ve been thinking about this one a lot this past week as someone at my job shared with me that she hates being alone.  She hates it so much, that she talks to people on her commute home from work when she is alone in her car.  I’m not sure she is a boy addict, but in hearing her I have thought about my own life and what a struggle it is for me to be with myself and to enjoy my own company.  So I suspect for myself this is a symptom of my boy addiction.

During one of my more recent longer term relationships, there was literally complete emotional neglect from him in terms of my feelings.  I finally pulled up my “big girl panties” and got the courage to tell him I’d rather be alone than feel this neglect.  This was super hard for me as our relationship had a “routine” and I was terrified to break this routine.  (I’m finding in my middle years I love routines).    He totally never understood what I was trying to tell him about needing more sensitivity toward my feelings.   His ego was way too large and in his mind “why would any woman not want to be with him?”.  Trust me, he lived far away and was a ton of work including tolls and gas money.  I was doing myself a huge favor by leaving.

I am grateful to him today because he taught me that my alone time has allowed me to grow and evolve into a more self actualized human being who actually loves herself.  I take care of my mind, soul, and body even more than in the past.    I ran 18 miles today as a “run walk” which felt really good on my joints, I recently lost 15 pound on my calorie counting program, I sing in my church choir, I take vitamins and drink loads of water and eat healthy (love to cook)  and I volunteer to help others (along with doing it at my job caring for sick and elderly people).  I began writing to be “in my own head” more and I must say I LOVE IT.  The feedback I’m getting is so inspiring, keeps me going.

I’m doing so much with my life that I BARELY miss the boy.  But I must admit (as this is truth-telling) that I still crave the boy.  Perhaps when my craving comes to a complete end, the man will “appear”?  What do you think?

Thanks for reading.  Hope you have a wonderful week spent with some “you” time….

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7 thoughts on “Calling all boy addicts! Its ok to be alone.

  1. Amy

    Boy or man? It’s a very line. A boy might never become a man and meanwhile a man might cross the line to become a boy in certain area of their relationship to their advantages.
    Bottom line , I have learnt that a man can never ( mark my word “Never”) fully satisfy a woman’s emotional needs. Yes, no matter how much they say they love you . So ladies out there, married or single , if you find someone you love and he loves you too and you dare to spend the rest of your lives with each other; get committed and get married!
    But remember, be content that he loves you in his own way ie: HE IS DOING THE BEST THAT HE KNOWS HOW.
    Don’t ever expect him to understand how you feel because he can’t comprehend your feelings. He just doesn’t have the equipment to do that!
    With that in mind, when you look at your man again, give yourself a hand because all these time while he thought that he has been protecting you; but the reality is that you have been taking care of him and you are just allowing him to feel his masculinity .

  2. Getting your perspective on things is so interesting! I love my alone time so I couldn’t really relate to a need to be with someone all the time. My husband and I were similar in that way, so we could be apart when needed and then come back together with ease. I remember studying women’s lit in college and one topic was about a shift that happened between the 50’s and 60’s when women were finally able to choose between the traditional marriage route or put that off for a career. Or put that off forever! We have all the choices now and being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. You put yourself out there with each blog. And I’m looking forward to your future stories. Yay !

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