Happy Sunday. By the time I post this, I will be in London with a dear friend for over 20 years – my 20 something “partner in crime” who went off and married an English man and had children and has resided in London for over 10 years. Cannot complain about my vacations…
As I promised a “juicy story” (since I noticed my stories getting a bit dull lately), I decided to blog about the boy who moved too fast. I have many “boy who move too fast” stories. This has taught me (and my best girlfriends remind me) that any boy who moves “too fast” will most likely result in disaster.
He was very cute. As fate would have it, this was a “second first date”. We had met back in 2010 over coffee at my very same favorite coffee place. At that time, we had met on a different internet dating site. When he found me a second time, I had long since forgotten him. After our first coffee meet up, I never heard from him again. But he remembered me and was eager to reconnect. It wasn’t until half way though our “coffee small talk” that he pointed out we had met there many years prior. Well, “how romantic” I said to myself. He had his placed his “hook”.
So we began. But on our second date (Valentines Day) he handed me a lovely box with a gorgeous necklace from a nice “brand name” jewelry store. I thought to myself, when that pretty box with the pretty bow was placed on the table in front of me, “wow a bit soon”. I took it no less. What girl doesn’t love a gorgeous heart necklace for Valentine’s Day?
The first sign I got something was “not quite right” with his behavior, was over a lunch date. I am a “hand talker” and I made a pointing gesture to him in my animated conversation (oh story-teller that I am) and he flinched and shot me a “look of death” and exclaimed “never point at me”. I was startled and took a deep breath and explained to him that since we are still newly getting to know each other, I will be more careful with my hand gestures. Next, I kindly asked him to approach me a bit more gently when something bothers him in the future. He agreed and we continued on.
I knew in my “gutt” that something was “not quite right”. I even shared with one of my many “sage” girlfriends that perhaps there was an issue of “mental illness”, but too soon to tell.
It was the plan we had to meet in NY City that tipped my fears right “over the ledge”. I had an appointment in the City, and suggested we meet at 3:00. We both live in Westchester, but he wanted to come into the City and take me out. We mutually agreed that 3:00 was the perfect time for both of us. As my appointment came to an end at 2:30, I looked at my phone and noticed I hadn’t received a text from him confirming he was on his way. (a habit we had quickly become accustomed too). So I text him “are you on your way”. After about 15 minutes, nothing. So I called him and nothing. Finally at 2:55 the phone rang. “I am still home, I was in the middle of something very important”.
Upon hearing this, I now was very angry. After all, I was in the City expecting a 3:00 meet up and he in Westchester hadn’t even left his house yet. I have learned to always take a deep breath when I am angry and try to calm myself and speak from the heart with calmness when addressing an emotional issue with a boy. So I simply said “(boy name), I am here waiting for you in the City and I simply need for you to know that my time is equally as precious as your time. In the future, I would very much appreciate a “heads up” if you are running late”.
With out a hesitation, the profanity began flying out of his mouth to an extreme and very loud level. I was completely shocked and caught off guard at his unexpected and “over the top” rant. I have also learned when someone “flips the psycho switch” that fast, I should simply move away. It was winter time and my fingers were cold, so the touch screen hang up button on my phone wasn’t cooperating very quickly and as I attempted to hang up I could still hear his rage: “I could take my phone and hit you on your head with it” was what I heard yelled out. Well, fortunately, I was able to successfully hang up and MOVE ON!
Fortunately, after only a few “leave me alone” texts from me, he did disappear. The point of this blog is not to criticize a boy who most likely suffers from mental illness issues, but to simply point out that any boy who brings you gorgeous jewelry on a second date is MOVING TOO FAST. I always remind my women in the internet dating world that we are meeting strangers and it takes a long time to really get to know someone. In addition, actions always speak much louder than words.
And always remember in the wise words of Maya Angelou: “When a person shows you who they are, believe them”.
Have a wonderful Memorial Day and thank you as always for reading.