What happens when your married girlfriend helps you internet date…


Happy Sunday. So about a week ago, I was at one of my best girlfriend’s homes for a glass of wine (she is a hard-working mother of little ones and loves when I come over for that glass to share with her) and she asked me “can I take a look at your dating website and pick a boy for you?”

It didn’t take me long to say “sure” – after all, I have scrolled through the 100’s of faces and profiles over the years, mostly clicking “next”…I thought it might be fun to give my dearest friend of over 20 years a shot at picking “Mr. Right” for me. She was so very excited. Like a “kid in a candy store” so to speak. I hadn’t stopped to consider that after many years of marriage, my dear girlfriend had absolutely “no clue” about the “trials and tribulations” of internet dating. I was just in the moment with her, and in no way, shape or form wanted to arrest her burning desire to find my “man”.

So off she went…of course after I set her up with a view of what the site referred to as “my matches”. I’ve come to learn over the years, that there really is no magic formula for “my match” and the site will eventually send you to every hot-blooded male with a pulse who may fall into your age range (well at least the 10 year older ones and the 20 year younger ones, as these seem to be the ones I’m most popular with – go figure). She scrolled for a while until she found her “perfect” man – “Chad” (I always change the names to protect the innocent and the guilty) – turns out in an odd twist of fate that “Chad” has the same name as her husband. He was very cute in his picture, per my girlfriend, about her age, had an awesome sense of humor (just like my girlfriend), referred to Billy Joel as the “iceberg of lettuce of rock n roll” and he went as far as to insult the Dave Matthews Band so badly that I cannot repeat what he said (I keep this blog clean enough for my Dad to read). Now, for those of you who know me personally, you know I am the world’s biggest DMB fan. Why would my married girlfriend pick this boy for me? I quickly realized she had picked the “perfect” guy for her!!!!! So, I gave her the go ahead to click everything she could to get his attention on the net. She clicked all the “likes” and “stars” and “winks” she possibly could. She even typed a personal message too him, pretending it was from me. My girl was so excited for this potential “match up” that she was euphoric. I found it amusing as I too felt this sense of euphoria the first time I found my “one” in my internet dating which began many years ago.

So we finished our wine, and I said goodnight to my girlfriend and I went home and fell sound asleep with my trusty cat Missy by my side. The next morning, I got up, ran, drank my coffee, got into the car to drive to work (my regular morning routine) and I heard my cell phone ringing. “Why the heck is my girlfriend calling me at 8 a.m. on a work day” – this was somewhat out of the ordinary. I picked up the call and said “hello” only to hear “well, did he respond?” I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. My poor married girlfriend is so new to this world of “surfing for boys” and it was tough to “burst her bubble” about internet dating, but with all my years of experience I felt I had a “sisterhood obligation” to do just this. So I responded “oh, my good friend, my young “Jedi”, you will come to learn in the world of internet dating there is no “Chad””. She sounded confused, so I continued. I explained that I am convinced the sites put a few “ringers” on there to make us think “Mr. Wonderful” is just around the corner as long as we keep “clicking”. I encouraged her to keep helping me find him and I reassured her there will be more “Mr. Wonderfuls” for me. I warned her that she should be careful not to get her heart set on anyone for me for at least 6 months – the texting, e-mailing, phone interviews, coffee meet ups, dinner dates, daring to form a relationship and go off the net… All different stages of my Internet dating. A long and drawn out process to say the least. I also reminded her to hug her husband because we all know that no one is “perfect” and if we have found someone we can spend many years with we should absolutely be grateful. She paused for a moment, laughed a lot, and whole heartedly agreed.

As for me, I continue my search. Grateful for good friends who are so spirited in joining in this journey along side of me. I dedicate this blog to you my friend – I always tell you – without you, I wouldn’t be alive (bless you) and all my “lifesavers” in my journey…

HAPPY SUNDAY…Thanks for reading.


5 thoughts on “What happens when your married girlfriend helps you internet date…

  1. OMG loved the part about “ringers”. Never thought of it that way. Im sure you’re right. For we all we know these ringers are Avatars. They don’t exist. They are a creation of PHotoshop, creative writing, and ingenious datesite marketing!

  2. sue Lance

    Those who are dishonest at the companies and put in the “ringers” should be fired!!!! how would they like to be in the position of looking for a mate and fall into seeing that “ringer” and getting excited!!! SHAME ON THEM!! KEEP LOOKING LESLIE AND THE HONEST ONES WILL PREVAIL

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