I have been speaking with many women lately who have felt what I felt in our mid to late thirties. I’m referring to a powerful “biological pull” to have a baby. As a single woman in the dating world, this is a very dangerous combination which contributed to some unhealthy “boy addict” choices for me. So as I write this Sunday, and in my journey of truth-telling, I feel it important to share about my biological clock.
From age 38 to 42, the urge to have a baby was so powerful that I discovered it was painful to even see a couple pushing a baby stroller without wanting to cry. This lead me to choose boys who professed to me that they wanted to have a child. I spent way too much time and energy on boys who weren’t a match for me. They reeled me in and I let them. I gave a lot of time, energy, and finances to boys who didn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated because I WANTED THAT BABY.
What I can tell you today is that the “biological clock pull” does diminish. Today, at age 43, I am so much better. In fact, I was at the gym the other day and witnessed a 4-year-old whining so badly to his mother that I thought “thank you Lord that is not me.” So I have made a shift!!!
I know I am not alone in this powerful feeling I am describing. Even some of my married friends who already had children and thought they were “done”, described to me feeling the urge to have a child in their mid to late thirties. What I want to emphasize is that if you are in this situation do NOT to allow the biological clock to dictate who you chose as a partner. A boy/man expressing he wants a child is very nice, but it does not determine if you and he are a “match” as a couple.
My advice, if you meet a boy/man who says he wants to have a child: FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. Ask yourself these very important question:
1. Does he respect you as the amazing woman you are?
2. Does he treat you with loving kindness?
3. Does he make you feel like the most important woman in his life?
4. Does he listen?
5. And my favorite one of all time (thank you Chiropractor Dr. P) DOES HAVING HIM AROUND MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER?
If you answered yes to all of the above questions, you might just have found a great father for the baby you are craving. If not (sadly like me) just keep on dating…
YOUR MAN IS OUT THERE…
Happy Sunday and thank you for reading.