Sisters before Mr.’s!

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Happy Sunday. I’ve been told by many boys I have good looking female friends. This I do. And many of my good looking female friends have suffered with their male counterparts over the years. Boy/men are not easy to relate too (to say the least). Hence, I decided to proclaim what I have said to my terrific female friends over the years: “Sisters before Mr.’s”!

Many years ago, a boy I was attempting to be in relationship with told me he needed his boys nights out as his mantra was “pals before gals”. As soon as I heard this I knew I needed my own female version and I’m happy to say that as far as I know “sisters before Mr.’s” is all mine! My girls always love it! Marrieds and singles alike appreciate this declaration. Here are some reasons as to why I think so:

1. Sisters will always be there for you emotionally. I have yet to meet a boy who can meet my emotional needs or neediness (as you know) and I’m not sure I ever will. BUT SISTERS! Thank you powerchicks! ( my expression for strong independent women). You gals consistently have supported me 100%
emotionally for so many years. Kudos to you! (You know who you are).

2. Sisters will never ignore a sister in need. Even at 3 a.m. I cannot even tell you how many boys over the years have literally closed the door on me and my emotions in the middle of the night. But my sisters will always pick up that phone. THANK YOU!!!!

3. Sisters relate – to our insecurities, vulnerabilities, and feminine needs. No boy can EVER do this for us.

Calling my man! Are you out there? Are you listening? If you want to really know the real me, talk to my sisters. They can write my book.

BLESS YOU POWERCHICKS!

Thank you for reading yet another Sunday. Every time you read, I feel blessed.

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A story of a boy who doesn’t know how to respect a woman…

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Happy Sunday. So what I have learned in my blogging, is that y’all love my “juicy” dating stories. And I know I have good ones. In an effort to keep my readership numbers up there, I must give you what you want at least every other Sunday. But beware, there will be a lesson in this. After all, whether you have realized it or not, I am writing with a purpose in mind…

Saw him on one of my favorite internet dating web sites as he “winked” at me. For those of you who do not know the lingo, “winking” is a way that a boy/man gets your attention on the site. Upon looking at his profile, my first immediate thought was “a bit nerdy”. He was into computers, had been a boy scout, etc. He looked just like the boy from the “Christmas Story” movie. Hope you are getting a visual.

Turns out (since my world is so small) he lived across the street from a friend of mine who knew him in a neighborly way. He actually helped her shovel her driveway during a snow storm. Good sign – a chivalrous boy/man! When I told my friend I wasn’t sure I should go out with him, her response was “give the nice one a try”.

So off we went. We had a great first and second date. A very nice boy/man – a good father, a polite, fun date. On date number three, we were dining at a nice place and enjoying each other when he asked me to walk along the Hudson river afterwards. Then he went in for the smooch. Now in all honesty (since he wasn’t a “hottie”) I was not sure I felt the spark for this boy/man. But after the smooch he said, and I quote: “your place or mine”. I nearly lost my dinner. I said to him: “you need to understand that after only a third date, I still consider us getting to know each other and I never move that fast”. Upon hearing me he responded, “well I’m not going to wait too long”.

Needless to say, I never went out with that boy again. My girlfriend was quite surprised at the “nice boy’s” behavior. I’m not. For me, I can quickly see that most of the boy/men I date turn into boys. And I realize it is about wanting to be respected. The only way to earn respect from someone is by spending time with them and learning about them as human souls. In order to find my “man”, I am seeking the man willing to get to know me for me and willing to give time, time. Too much to ask? Think not. What do you think?

Happy Sunday and thank you for reading – always…
Two love hearts / vector

Down Low Dating…

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Happy Sunday. Today I would like to embark upon a “sensitive” subject that I have encountered often. I know that this topic is not one I hear much about, but I have come across this scenario routinely in my Internet dating. It is what I refer too as dating the dreaded “down low” boy…

What is a down low boy? “Down low” was a term used many years ago during an Oprah talk show episode I was viewing. Thanks to Oprah, I learned there are thousands of boys out there who are secretly homosexual and date women to help enable them to be viewed in a more “normal” way by the world. And I have had the heartbreak multiple times by dating, spending much time with, and falling for these boys.

Some of the qualities I fall very fast for in these boys include:

1. They are typically good looking. In fact a few have been so handsome that my girlfriends drool and are VERY HAPPY for me landing a “hottie”. By this time, I usually subconsciously know a relationship is not going to blossom, but it is fun to get praised for being seen with eye candy.

2. They are the quintessential confirmed bachelors. By the time a good looking boy is still single, never married, no children, not having had a relationship with a woman for more than 2 years, and in his mid 40’s – all these things are things that make me go hmmmmmmmmmmm.

3. Theses boys are typically very intelligent and great to hold deep conversations with. Now you all know how much I LOVE a great coffee and conversation date. Especially with an open minded, intelligent boy who views humanity with love and open mindedness the way I do. What could be hotter than this? But, your relationship may never gets past the movie theater or coffee shop or drive home for an invite into his apartment. Reality is, with a boy like this ladies, you most likely will never see his living space. And if you do, you will NEVER feel the emotional connection you deserve.

When you date a down low boy, your gutt will be screaming something is wrong! Trust me, as a dating woman in my mid-forties, I have learned over and over to trust my gutt. If you feel it, believe your truth. Don’t let your thoughts talk you out of your gutt. YOU KNOW WHEN A BOY IS DOWN LOW!

Walk away and pray. I do believe it is tragic when a boy puts up a fake front to the world. Ladies, being deceived by a down low boy hurts more and more the longer you stay.

Trust me and stay single. Our day will come.

Thank you for reading.

When the boy you are on the date with says he wants to “go slow”…

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Happy Sunday and Happy 4th of July weekend. As we celebrate our independence as a country, I reflect upon celebrating my independence as a single, strong woman in my mid forties who has the courage to continue dating in the hopes of “meeting my man”. Along the way, I have encountered many interesting “boys” and learned lessons I continue to share. This past week I had a second date with a “super cute boy” and we were “totally connecting” until he said those dreaded words which may come out of a boy’s mouth: “I want to take it slow”.

Now, you may be saying to yourself if you have been following my blogs and my “dating logic”, “why would Leslie be unhappy, as she always says she wants to take it slow too?”. On the first date with this very cute boy, he said he wanted to take it slow as he is going through divorce with young children and this is very upsetting for him. How could a great woman like myself not “feel for him”? I too went through a rough divorce and have great empathy for the pain involved in this. So we commiserated and I shared a book recommendation to him which I felt would help him get though his ordeal. He LOVED our conversation so much that he called me right after the date to say what a surprisingly GREAT time he had….awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww….did I mention his was cute?

On the second date, and he asked me out before he left for his vacation (very cool), he once again reminded me how he wants to take it slow. OK. Then he was talking about his “wife” instead of his “ex-wife”. I realized that this adorable boy is still wrapped up in the drama of his divorce. He was confused and afraid. Him telling me he wanted to take things slowly started meaning something very different for me. Especially right after our date when I got home and “internet stalked him”. This time, instead of a sweet post date phone call to me, I discovered he was back “looking” on the internet for other women.

I did muster up the courage to say to him on our second date “I am looking to date a man with an ex-wife and not a wife”. He acknowledged why I might feel this way. He was nice.

My “ah-ha” moment came a few days ago on a run with my beloved running partner and sage Rose. When a boy says he wants to “take it slow” he is referring to entering into a relationship with you. He may enjoy your company and perhaps even want to achieve a “shag” (he is a boy after all). When I say “I want to take it slow”, I mean I want to really get to know a boy in the hopes he is a man and has the courage to enter into a long-term relationship with me…

So I continue on. I haven’t heard from this cute boy since that second date. I know he is on his vacation. And I can see he is very busy looking on the “net”. All good. This is dating and more lessons learned. Thank you for reading…