Happy Sunday. As promised, I am writing about a “juicy dating story” this week. I need to keep you reading! This is a harder one to write about. I find in my dating life, it is so much easier to share about the boys I don’t like. Sharing about the boys I like who make me feel rejected is very painful for me. I suspect there are many out there who have this experience when dating, so important to talk about it.
He was a brilliant boy. He had a top-notch job, highly educated, my kind of attractive, and very nice. In fact, I met him on the net, but in a small world “Leslie style” coincidence (there are no coincidences FYI) a professional I have worked with for years and respect very much had worked with this boy many years ago. She went “on and on” about how nice he was and how lucky I was to have met him. Needless to say, since he had been taking me on dates regularly, I was excited and thought I had met my man.
While I enjoyed his company, the time spent with him NEVER went past just that. Spending time with him – going to movies, going out to eat, all the typical “dating stuff”. He even went to a wedding with me on Valentine’s Day giving me long stem roses which was very sweet. There was only one major problem with this boy. Every time he left, my gutt was screaming “something is wrong”! Basically, he NEVER had anything to say to me on any kind of emotional level.
I was NEVER told I was nice, attractive, kind, good, or anything a woman wants to hear to make her think she is in an emotionally safe relationship with a man. He would travel for work and never contact me when he was away. In fact, on one of his trips, he came home with bruises on his face. When I asked him what happened, he responded he had been in a car accident! That had been a whole week prior! He never bothered to call me to tell me. He waited until I saw bruises on his face and I asked. I knew this wasn’t any kind of relationship for me.
When I gained enough courage to break up with him, he was so very kind. He said, “well, Leslie, if you ever in my neighborhood, give me a call”. It was the nicest, most polite break up I have ever engaged in. And COMPLETELY NEGLECTFUL OF ME AS AN EMOTIONAL BEING.
I often think boys like this have major issues, but I have learned it is NOT MY JOB to analyze them or save them. Been there and done that. The good news is, I have learned my own strength in being able to walk away no worse for the wear. Dating is about being good to me and knowing when my needs are not being met. Once again, I must say “the race isn’t always to the swift, but to those who keep on running” – author unknown (on a poster I kept hung in my room when I was growing up as a child – NO COINCIDENCES!)
Thank you for reading.