Happy Sunday. I have learned that demanding respect for myself in my dating life is critical. Of course, the best way to learn is the hard way. Sometimes I think this is so important to me, I may be single forever. I have learned that if I compromise on this, my life could definitely be taken down a dark road I no longer wish to travel.
You can tell pretty quickly whether you are being respected on a date. Does he take interest in you? Does he treat you like the queen you are? Does he go out of his way for you? Does he make you feel important and safe? Some basic, yet deep questions. The need to have the boy/man and to not be alone is powerful. This can cloud your decision-making. So keep a “keen” eye.
One quick story. I was in a relationship for quite some time in which I was sacrificing a lot. Long drives, going out of my way for his child, going out of my way for him. After a long period of time with him, I discovered that when I met his only living next of kin (as his parents had died) she had NEVER HEARD ABOUT ME. She had never even heard my name. She was quite upset when she met me as she realized I had been a significant part of her brother’s life. When I confronted him later in a dignified and private manner, he lashed out at me that “he is private and he did nothing wrong”. Needless to say, this is a no brainer for me: NO R E S P E C T for the woman he should have cherished – ME!!!!
It was a very tough break up for me as I had gotten very emotionally attached to him and his child, but I did it no less. I explained to him that I would prefer to be alone than to feel I am not respected. He never seemed to understand me or my needs, so I let him go.
I still crave that “life partner”, but I realize so many of us are. No matter what our lot in life, we deserve R E S P E C T. And if we don’t have it in our lives, my advice: find people who are happy to give it to us and spend time with them. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.
Thank you for reading.