Sunday and blog day yet again. I am very close to receiving my “5000th” hit! So thank you for reading and for your love and support. You keep me blogging. I had a recent experience with an “on-line” boy I am fortunate enough to say I never met. Because I started to get “sucked in” by his enticing profile and e-mail messages, I felt it important to give a warning to those who are lonely and vulnerable (like me) and who could easily fall prey to the “internet con-boy” (and TRUST ME these kind of people have never been, nor will ever be, men).
He had a cute photo. That is always a “draw” for me and for most women. More importantly his profile sounded “too good to be true”. I always need to remind myself, if someone sounds “too good to be true” he usually is. He was trained and practiced as a pediatrician. He tragically lost his wife four years ago. He was raising his 7-year-old son. While he does “humanitarian” work in Africa his deceased wife’s mother takes care of his son. WOW – what a man! So of course, after reading his profile, I shot him a wink (meaning I let him know I liked what I read and was interested in him. It took him a while to write back (a few weeks), but when he did write back to me we began e-mailing back and forth. I must admit I was excited. A few friends who I shared with warned me that it sounded funny.
He explained that he was about to embark on his last humanitarian mission to Africa as he had done this many times to help him cope with the loss of his wife. He said this was a “long story” which he would share with me when we met in person. He claimed that since this was his final planned trip to Africa. When he returned, he e-mailed me that he would be ready for a “real” relationship. What struck me the most odd, was when I asked him pointed questions such as “which organization” do you do your humanitarian work with, his answer was vague. For example, he said he had gone with UNICEF and Doctors without Borders in the past, but on this trip he was “on his own”. I then asked him more questions like “what medical school did you attend?”. He did answer this question, but when I googled his name and his medical school, nothing showed up! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I smelled a “con”.
So I did what I felt a blogger and a responsible “internet dating powerchick” should do. I CALLED HIM OUT ON IT! I sent him a message stating that I now suspected he was a con. I told him I anticipated that after he “sucked me in” with a few months of back and forth e-mailing and me getting increasingly emotionally attached (without ever having a phone conversation with him or meeting him in person), he would ask me for money to help him “get home” from his humanitarian work in Africa. Of course I will NEVER know if this is indeed the truth, but it was really feeling like a “con”.
His response to my “calling him out” was the funniest – he wrote about how “shocked” he was and how I should “get over” my past as he is someone who wants to “start new”. I chuckled at his response because his vagueness and “blame” of me spoke volumes to me. I have learned in my life, that when boys are truly “guilty” they have a bad habit of putting the blame on their female accuser in an effort to deflect their responsibility for their bad behavior. It confirmed for me, in my mind, that he was a “con-boy”. Of course, there is always the possibility I am wrong about him, but I have learned always to “trust my gut” in my internet dating. Preserving myself and my emotions takes the utmost priority.
I did share my blog site with him in the hopes that he might read me, learn, and change his evil ways. This is my “pie eye in the sky” dream for the truths I share in my blog. One can always hope that by sharing their truth, they help someone heal.
I just hope for all my readers and daters you continue to keep your eyes wide open and don’t get “sucked in” by something that looks too good to be true. And NEVER, EVER give money to someone you meet on the internet. There are certainly a lot of predators out there. Stay on your game. Be smart and safe and trust your intuition.
Thanks for reading and keep on dating…