Two ships who pass in the night…

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Happy Sunday from a gorgeous Caribbean cruise with my number one man – my Dad. We are truly having a fabulous vacation. My first cruise. In typical “Leslie style”, I have circled the upper deck track over 100 times for my training runs. I also experienced a bought of horrific sea sickness on my dives (the diving here is beautiful so worth the sickness! Saw sharks, sea turtles, eel, huge lobster, and lion fish). In addition, with the exception of this blog, I have pretty much accomplished complete disconnection from my cell phone which gives me time to reflect and feel whole again. Looking off over the amazing vastness of ocean from my room’s balcony, of course I can safely tell you I met yet another boy….

Yes, I’m on my cruise with my Dad and yes I’m being all serene and self actualized and stuff, but you know I’m a boy addict so of course had to find the only divorced, single, 45 year old boy on this ship! Actually, we met during a dive excursion. He and I were the only two on this ship going diving on the same day and we ended up being paired together as dive partners.

Trust me folks, on cruises there are not too many of these types of cute single boys. And he’s really cute! OF COURSE!!!!! He is VERY geographically undesirable, living in Arizona, so a no go to be “my man”. However, he’s nice, buying me some drinks as of course we found each other back on the ship after our dives. It is really funny having a boy hit on me in front of dear old Dad! But my Dad takes everything in stride. Especially his daughter! Praise God!!!!

So here I am doing battle yet again with boy addiction on my vacation. I was supposed to run tonight, but sat on the poolside deck with this boy and his bro “slugging some beers” and laughing a lot. We are having great conversation. He works in the medical field too and likes being fit and active. We have stuff in common as two ships passing… But I do realize THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT!! Being in the moment. Living life on God’s terms (not mine). And having fun!

I’m having so much fun that I made a gym date with Dad at 4:00 and when I came to the room he was napping. I said “Dad, I’m getting free beers from this boy and don’t want to go to the gym”. He said “you are having fun, go enjoy!” And he continued his nap while I continued with my “boy fun”. How’s that for a man?

So 2 ships passing in the night is really meant to provoke you into “staying in the moment” if you are dating and simply “having fun”. Real men in your life will want this for you! SURE OF IT! Thanks Dad! Bon Voyage!!!! 🚢⚓️🚣

ADDENDUM: I wrote this blog this past Thursday. It is now Sunday and turns out (shocker of shockers), the boy is really NOT a nice guy. He’s moody and has a negative disposition. Yet his brother is nice (sadly too nice for me, but working on this) and he has great friends who love dancing and having fun so I’ve made some party pals! Although Dad can hold his own. But I realize that yet again this is BOY ADDICTION AT ITS FINEST! Awareness is the first step to recovery. I’m enjoying this last cruise day with my Dad! And today is not a “boy addiction day” -it’s a recovery day. One day at a time. Thanks for reading.

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Beware of the dating scam…

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Happy Sunday on a Saturday. Headed out on a cruise ship with my favorite man (my Dad) and realize since I will be “off the grid” on Sunday, I need to post today. I am picking a rather sensitive, embarassing topic, but an important goal of my blog is the help others “in my boat” (pardon the pun), I am going to tackle my “dating scam” experience.

I work with elderly folks who are very vulnerable to scams. I have been educating them as to the dangers of phone scams – people calling them pretending to be their injured grandchildren traveling and needing money. This scam is so widely known, it is referred to as the “Grandparent Scam”! So sad. Since I too admittedly once fell victim to a scam, I started to clearly see they work well because predators prey on victims’ vulnerable emotions.

I was 39 and desparately wanted a husband and a baby. A female friend told me about a match making company she joined and how they were great. I investigated and found myself sitting in a fancy office in Stamford, CT looking at books and books of pictures of happily married couples. I was lead to believe by a gentleman named “Mike” wearing a suit, that if I signed on with his “match making service”, I too would be a happy picture in their book. After 2 hours of personality profiles and promises of true love and happily ever after, I signed on. And I paid dearly.

About a week went by and I knew I had made a terrible mistake. A good friend I run with had her lawyer husband read the contract I signed and it was rock solid! They had only given me 3 days to change my mind. A done deal! In addition, I signed on for a small monthly loan that to this day I never got billed for. Today I realize it was their insurance (or threat) to keep me from taking them to small claims court.

They did send me some “dates”. A guy who drank 3 Long Island ice teas and had a 60 mile drive home. A guy with a severe medical issue who I see on Match.com often. A guy who “bartended” for “Mike” (the man who interviewed me in that Stamford office). This guy actually told me “Mike” asked him to please take me out. The best part is that all these guys were promised to be my “perfect matches” based on the hours of personality profiles we did!!!! Um hmmmmmmmmmm.

I am lucky I am ok. Just red in the face. I suspect the woman who told me to do this got taken for more money than me as she is about 20 years older than me. We were strongly advised by “Mike” not to discuss how much we spent so we never did. We both feel badly and humiliated and powerless. We do talk about one day “going public”, so I suppose I have started with this blog.

Morale of my story is simply this: when anything sounds too good to be true, IT USUALLY IS! Love cannot be found in books and profiles and fast talk. Love is found from within. Why I’m trying to give out my love to my fellow “daters” in my blogs. This humiliating experience I send to you with love and my hope that you keep yourself safe!

Happy dating. Thank you for reading.

It’s ok to not “do life” the way my mother did…

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free-mothers-day-clip-art-18-Happy Sunday. No dating stories today. Just some dating wisdom along with some life wisdom. I would like to thank writer Elizabeth Gilbert for inspiring me this week. Many have said I write like her, but I think I am striving to live a life that Elizabeth inspired. I happened to catch her this week on Oprah’s amazing television show “Super Soul Sunday”. She told Oprah that what inspired her to live her own life and write her book “Eat, Pray, Love”, was that she gave herself permission to live her life differently from her mother’s life. This got me thinking a whole lot..

First of all, I LOVE MY MOTHER. If it wasn’t for my Mom and my Dad, I wouldn’t have the luxury to live this terrific life I am living. SO THANK YOU GUYS!

Second of all, thank you Elizabeth Gilbert, because I have spent a good portion of my 30’s trying to live the life my mother lived. I married and went through a torturous ordeal that almost “did me in”. Feeling trapped in my marriage was an understatement. I felt frightened and truly thought I could not get out of my marriage safely or even alive!

But God is great and put angels in my path. Thanks to my “life savers”, my father reminds me often that “I got saved” when I escaped my marriage not only “intact”, but what I believe to be a better, healthier, happier person. Now that I am in my forties, I’m realizing yet again that everything happens for a reason and that God has me right where he wants me. In a great place! Dating, writing, running, inspiring. In addition, I am blessed with an occupation that permits me to be kind to others. My job allows me to give my gift to the world – MY GIFT OF GIVING! I truly believe this is my “soul purpose” in my life.

So, with all this being said, I have finally stopped looking for a “husband”. It worked for my mother and father, but it hasn’t worked for me, so far. Today, my needs from my man are simple. I am looking for a “giver”. A kind-hearted soul who is like-minded and wants to be a “giver” too. Heck, I’ll even take this a step further to state that I want to meet someone who has been given the same soul purpose as myself. Then I envision that we can conquer the world together! Together we can “give” to one soul at a time…

In the mean time, I date. Not to worry, the funny stories keep on coming, so next week I promise to make you laugh. That’s the best form of “medicine” after all.

Thanks always for reading. Bless you.

Dating can be funny and lighthearted…

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anchovyHappy Sunday. I decided to “lighten things up a bit” and tell a silly story. After all, getting too serious every week is getting a bit boring, so I’ll just be silly me.

I met him through a gal I met on my vacation last summer. She told me she knew a nice single boy who lived near me back at home and she wanted to “fix us up”. So when I got home from my vacation, he called. He sounded very nice on the phone and offered to take me to a lovely restaurant to sit at the outdoor bar and order a drink and an appetizer. Since it was summer and the venue he chose is one of my favorites for the outdoor bar, I said yes (with invites like this, sometimes my “first date coffee rule” goes out the window). The establishment is really lovely, with gardens and fire torches and the beauty of the Hudson River.

So I met him outside the restaurant/outdoor bar area in the parking lot. He was tall and decent looking. He had a nice smile. I thought to myself this might be a good date, hopefully. When we went inside, he chose a lovely table with a beautiful view of the river. We were having some nice small talk as we were perusing the menu when he asked “is there anything you do not eat”. With that, I chuckled and said “Oh, really I am not picky, I eat everything”. For me, this is mostly true. I am not a picky eater at all. I have been praised by past boys I have dated for being so “non-picky” in my food choices and in my openness to trying new food items. I encouraged him to order whatever he wanted.

With that, he said, “ok, I think I’m going to order the gourmet pizza with the anchovies on top”. I nearly gagged on my drink as he said it. Now readers, you must know that there are probably only about 5 food items I refuse to eat and anchovies of course is one of them. I took a deep breath and kindly let him know that sadly I do not eat anchovies. I’m not sure he saw the humor in this, but I did. I thought, “figures”.

I knew I could not swallow any anchovy pizza so I had to be honest and encourage him to pick another menu item. After studying the menu he asked me if I could eat the grilled squid. I again hesitated in my mind, but I knew that I had eaten calamari plenty of times, so I figured I could agree to this. So I did. But I must say, it was not the most pleasant experience. Quite sure I choked down most of it.

The date ended fairly well and he seemed to have a good time as I did. The conversation went well and I was hoping he’d call again, but he didn’t. Two things I learned from this date. 1. Don’t say on my date that I eat everything – ask him what he has in mind to order and be honest about my likes and dislikes. Better to be picky at first and lighten up later. 2. I am happy he didn’t call. Who knows, on the next date he might have been ordering pickled pigs feet for me to dine on.

Every date happens for a reason. Thanks for reading.