Happy Sunday. In thinking about my “journey” it is not always easy speaking openly about my truth. And I am happy to say everything in my blog is “my truth”. It is no one else’s truth, so I understand that I may hurt other’s feelings along the way and I am truly sorry for this. Never my intention. I usually try to write about my dating experiences after some time and I always keep names anonymous so as to not hurt the others I write about. This is my journey and I’m getting such positive response from my readers, that I choose to keep writing. Every Sunday, never miss since I began over a year ago.
This being said, and after watching my favorite television show “Super Soul Sunday” with Oprah, I am beginning to accept the fact that “dating” could be my calling. Just this week, another woman said to me “I could never internet date, it is too scary”. I thought to myself, “wow”, it is scary at times. I am putting myself “out there” and taking all kinds of risks in an effort to meet “my man”. The concept of “my man” is a tall order for me. I accept that this order may perhaps be “too tall” for me to ever fill. But, having said this, this is my life and I choose to live it in the best way I know how, keeping me happy.
One thing I do know is that the people I most prefer to spend time with are the ones who unconditionally love me no matter how “quirky” or “annoying” I can be. I’m not easy to be around at times. I talk incessantly about my running and my dating. I get very caught up in my “own stuff” often being a terrible listener. My running partners are very used to me “talking first” about my drama before I listen to them and their issues (I’m trying to get better at this).
I turn away many boys I date because I’m all about me. I suppose my past has lead me to this place. I had to learn that in order to save myself, I needed to make life about myself and my journey. But I write to give back – especially to give back to the women who read me and relate to me. Thank you!
One thing I know for sure, is that the unconditional love I receive just for “being me” is hard to describe. I will always have “haters” too. I accept this. It is the “fall out” from going public with my truth. But I insist on the premise that I am only as sick as my secrets, so I consider myself to be pretty healthy. Agree or disagree – makes no matter.
One thing is for sure – you are reading me. So there is some kind of attraction to my wisdom. As for dating being my “calling” – it is my reality. And thank you for those of you who are happy to “just see me smile”. Its truly all I want to give back to you. Bless you.