Accepting the boy “as is”…

Standard

Happy Sunday.  Today’s topic gets a little more “deep”, but is one I’m thinking about a lot this week in the discussions I’m engaging in with my amazing female friends.  The conclusion I’m reaching for myself in “recovery” from my “boy addiction” is that the happiest I can be with any boy/man is accepting him 100% for who he is.  If there are things about him, his life, his ways, his beliefs, values, attitudes, which do not “sit right” with me, then I need to “keep it moving”.  I have spent many, many years thinking I could “change the boy” to be what I wanted him to be – my man.  As I write this blog today, I truly have learned I will NEVER be able to “change the boy”.

Internet dating is GREAT practice for acceptance.  While on dates, I sit back and observe.  Is he making efforts?  Is he really interested in me?  What is his objective for taking me out?  I have learned that boys will let you know almost IMMEDIATELY if they are interested and want to pursue you.  NO NEED TO CHASE.  Boys are VERY transparent in general and you will know pretty quickly if he is interested.  Any aloof actions on a date means time to say “bah bye”.  I’m not dating to waste any of my precious time with boys who have no idea what they want, other than to be seen out with an attractive girl (if I do say so myself).  So I’ve learned that when a boy “likes me” it must be obvious to me through his actions.  I accept that if it is not obvious, I am done.  Onto the next…

If you continue to date a boy because you are hitting it off, continue to listen to your gutt.  No one is perfect, but this is YOUR LIFE so be picky. I have learned that if a good person were easy to find, then most likely he would not be a good person.  Boy have I learned this lesson the hard way !   I accept that boys come with problems, but I also accept that my life has become pretty stable and I am not willing to “rock my boat” with problems.  Been there, done that.

I guess at the end of the day, when I meet my “man”, I expect it will flow.  I plan on not having any “gutt” moments where I’m thinking “uh oh”, he might be up to no good.  I’m a VERY open-minded person and a “people person” which is why I enjoy dating and meeting new boys.  Being a boy addict in recovery contributes to my desire to date.  But I’m having a lot of fun saying “no” often for “my right reasons”.  I’m realizing I cannot accept a lot of “boy behaviors” that are just not a fit for my life.

Being alone is getting better and better.  And I might just stay single for a long time.  Keeps me blogging.  Thank you for reading always…

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Accepting the boy “as is”…

  1. Seems like you are advocating a really good idea, to sort of weed out the boys you already know you can’t accept “as is” …no longer thinking you can change that part of him that is at issue… knowing that issue will likely cause a problem in the end (sooner or later). That’s an astute realization! It’s as if you are also accepting YOURSELF “as is” as you become more and moe wise!

  2. Seems like you are advocating a really good idea, to sort of weed out the boys you already know you can’t accept “as is” …no longer thinking you can change that part of him that is at issue… knowing that issue will likely cause a problem in the end (sooner or later). That’s an astute realization! It’s as if you are also accepting YOURSELF “as is” as you become wiser!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s