Happy Sunday. I have been very busy at my annual professional conference including leading a 7 a.m. run, but must blog before bed. In fact, a few conference goers are admittedly readers so I cannot let my professional peers down. Happy to have readers! So what I have learned in my middle age dating life is simply “it’s complicated”…
Middle age dating complications arise so frequently they are worth discussing. You meet and there is no attraction. He may look too old or out of shape or like my grandfather. In one such case, when I met him at my favorite coffee shop, I looked down at his shoes and he was wearing white tennis sneakers with Velcro closures. Yes, Velcro shoe laces…the kind small children or old folks use when they are unable to tie laces. This was an instant “no go” for me, but I did muster up the one hour obligatory coffee date to be polite.
You meet and there is attraction, but his life is a disaster. He may be broke, stuck with huge bills from his ex-life. I realize physical attraction was the “be and end all in my 20’s”, but in my 40’s I’m thinking more about my future life and simply wanting a man who may be able to afford to help make our lives comfortable. As a good friend of mine who is single in middle age said to me, “Leslie, you don’t want to be a nurse or a purse”. Boy is that the truth!
You meet the boy who’s so damaged from his ex-life that he cannot be there for you fully. He’s stuck in his past and you as his future is just not in the cards. I’m fortunate that my ex-life is so far in my past that I’m truly “baggage free” simply waiting for my man to be ready for a “lighter load” with me.
I said to my father recently that I was so sure life got easier with age and he cracked up. I have learned it is simply the opposite. Life is hard. With age, complications grow. But so does wisdom. My dating wisdom is deep and my dates are complicated. But I am certain when my man reveals himself he will “keep it simple”. Dare to dream….
Thank you for reading.