So I once interacted with an older boy new to the world of Internet dating. I suppose it is the “helper” in me who felt I needed to coach him (all over texting). He seemed nice and attractive, but got all “hung up” in my age range of boys I want to meet. He was 54 and I put 50 as my limit (guess time to change that age range older gal!). He came right out and told me he met a woman his age who he preferred and expressed not wanting to meet me! Sad part is he hadn’t even met her face to face. He simply was clueless to Internet dating and got caught up in my stated age range in my profile. His pre-conceived notions about strangers on the Internet prevented him from buying me a cup of coffee. This spawned the dawn of a new blog subject for me: What I call “Internet dating innocence”.
In talking to folks who Internet date, I realize they can get very hung up in this mode of thinking. When I was new on the net, I put my heart and soul into every first date. The more effort I made, the more dissappointed and disillusioned I became when I’d meet boys not my match. Sadly, I suspect this disheartening phenomenon causes good people to quit Internet dating.
I clearly remember my very first Internet date back in 2010! I took Metro North all the way into the City to meet him at Bryant Park for drinks. He walked and walked and struggled for 20 minutes to get us a table for drinks. I was wondering why he didn’t simply go up to the bar to buy me a drink as there were seats without tables, until the check came to our table and he asked to split it!!!! When he walked me back to Grand Central, he asked me to see him again, but I was so turned off by him not buying my drink that on the train ride home I knew I’d invested WAY TOO MUCH in a stranger.
Over my years of dating, I have come to learn that my time is an investment. Internet dating breeds a comfort level with a complete stranger that simply should not be there. I remind daters I speak with that “one hour over coffee close to home” is enough to know if you would like to meet again. Baby steps…
Sadly I have seen many lonely people embark upon many bad situations with Internet dating strangers. My goal is to keep you safe and remind you (and myself) that if God has my man for me I will know in time. I always think perhaps it will be the man at the table next to me on my next Internet dating coffee date? Time will tell. Once again, I must end with my favorite quote “the race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep running”.
Happy Dating! Thank you for reading.