Happy Sunday. I had a lovely day yesterday touring NY City with a dear friend who happens to be my very first boyfriend’s sister. When I’m with her it is like we never skipped a beat. I was always her “big sister”, and even though I’m no longer with her brother and have not been in many years, our friendship is special. We share so much history and many fond memories that it got me thinking that every boy I have dated and/or had a relationship with has given me something to “take away”.
Of course gaining a sister as the result of a long-term relationship is a precious gift. Her brother was in fact the longest relationship I ever maintained at a whooping seven years. Certainly, during my internet dating, time spent with boys has been significantly less. But I’m a believer that every person I meet in life teaches me something valuable about myself . I’m writing this blog to challenge you to pay attention and look for the gifts meeting new people can bring.
I know dating internet boys has improved my confidence. After all, when I’m out for that one hour coffee meet up, I must be comfortable talking about myself. I joke with boys and they agree that first dates are much like job interviews. During these interviews, one must feel comfortable with one’s self to perform well. I’ve gotten pretty good at talking about me, my passions, my family, my friends, my running (admittedly this topic may be a bit boring for the boys and I am aware I have to limit my “runners talk”).
I have met some pretty amazing boys while dating over the years. The variety of boys include a filmmaker, a lawyer, a doctor, a professional race horse owner, an engineer, a novelist, and many others. From each boy encounter I learn a little more about their lives, their careers, their passions and this contributes to me being a well-rounded individual. Some of the boys remain very kind to me even if we are not a love connection. For example, when I dated the “filmmaker boy” he mentored the daughter of a friend of mine to the extent that she got credit helping make one of his films. Even though he and I were not a match he remained very kind to me. To this day, he is a friend and if I need a favor he would help me.
There are also those boys I have met who are not so kind and perhaps even abusive emotionally. What I have learned from these experiences is self-love. I have learned that my life is precious. My time is not worth wasting on someone abusing me. One thing I do when I encounter potential abusers is motivate myself to get stronger, live healthier and keep on running.
My “take away” from this blog is that if you are single, dare to date. There truly is nothing to lose and everything to gain for yourself.
Thank you for reading.