To date or not to date…



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…mid-life dating.  I just feel like saying that “it’s complicated” and leave it at that.  But since I have made the commitment to my readers to be truth telling along this journey I have decided to come clean with my struggle in deciding whether to date or not to date.

I met a very nice boy about 8 months ago.  He by no means is my “dream man” and he’s so nice that he’s fine with me saying this.  He knows it too.  But, with this being said, he’s very kind and patient and caring and happy to be with me.  He has a great sense of humor and a heart of gold.  And he’s cute.  Ironically in a very “boyish” way.  I have so much fun with him.  One of my favorite moments with him was us both singing at the top of our lungs to Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” driving in his red mustang.  Good stuff for sure.

The sad part of this story is that I have lead him to believe I wanted to be with him, but kept telling him not to get close to me because I am dating.  And I have been dating.  One time he asked me if I was on a date and I answered truthfully “yes”.  The effect of this was making him feel less than and insecure.  Certainly not nice on my part.  He has hung in there with me the whole time really accepting me just as I am.

The trouble with internet dating is that if I am always “shopping” no one gets a chance.  He forever sees me looking at my cell phone (I am a bit of an addict) and assumes I’m “man shopping”.  He finally let me “have it” recently expressing his upset at my behavior with him and I had to agree with him.  Dating when you are trying to have a relationship with someone simply does not work.

So here I am, 44 years old, not craving the baby and the husband as I was (38-42 was pure torture), thinking perhaps I should give this nice boy a chance and get the heck off the net for awhile.  Two of my closest friends are very happy with my thinking, and I know this means something.

Now readers, I’m not saying that my dating stories and advice giving is going to dwindle.  I promise you that I have enough material to last a lifetime.  The great news is he reads my blog and is a big supporter.  His family even reads me and on some level I’m pretty sure they are sick of me actively dating too.  Rumor is they like me, but sure they are liking me less and less if I keep dating.

The truth is that I need to like myself enough to give a good boy a chance.  He even likes my race medals and helped me install my medal rack.  A very “manly” task for sure.  The older I get, the more I am learning that no one is perfect.  But perhaps this boy is perfect for me at this phase in my life?  And if not, heck there will be lots of great lessons to share.

Thank you kind boy who possess many man qualities.  My favorite thing about you is that you are a terrific father with so much love for your children – Happy Father’s Day!  You are my teacher and I’m happy you let me “think out loud” with no repercussions.  Bless you.


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