Happy Sunday and Happy Fourth of July! I recently met an elderly women suffering the loss of her husband of 57 years whom was truly “a man” and whom she was very close with. What I heard through her honesty in sharing her pain with me was she was so fearful she may lose her independence. At age 86, she was an avid horseback rider and was proud to tell me she rode her horse right up until age 85 when she could no longer care for her horse. Of course I asked if her husband rode and she responded “no, he was a golfer”. She adored her husband and let me know that all he wanted her to be was happy during their long marriage. This got me thinking about the importance of independence for both single people and for people in relationships. Independence is a value that I truly believe is part of the human soul.
As for myself, having been single and in relationships, I have learned the value of my own independence. For example, you all know running is so very important to me. Whether I’m with a boy or not, I will NEVER stop running unless my body speaks to me and tells me I can no longer run. I am aware that this is always a possibility, so I treat my body as best I can in order to keep doing what I love. Good boys like that I run. Bad boys never want me to be my independent self. I can happily see them coming from a mile away these days. I once dated a boy who was of South American decent thus being a darker complexion than myself. He had the nerve to tell me I was “too white” and should consider tanning more!
I was so grateful he showed me his controlling side very early on and I broke it off with him. Any boy who tells me what I “should” and “should not” do, will “hit the road”. These boys are “independence suckers” and certainly will not support my running or me as a person. My advice to my readers is to look for the signs of boys trying to steal your independence and keep it moving.
The boy I am with today likes that I run. He doesn’t understand my passion and often jokes that “I’m crazy”, but I must agree that when I get up at 4:30 a.m. to get my speed work done before I go to work, I often think I’m crazy too. But a great crazy. He whole heartedly agrees! And it’s nice.
So a very happy Independence Day. Celebrate your passion. And thank the boy, girl, man, or woman who supports you in your passion. The boy can be a golfer, but if he loves you for riding your horse then he is a “keeper”. That elderly woman told me her man was “one in fifty million”. She made me wear huge smile knowing that it only took me 44 years to understand the value of respecting your partner’s independence in a relationship.
Thank you for reading.