A Real Man Killed My Bugs



Happy Sunday.  My boyfriend and my girlfriends do not want me to write about my bugs.  I get it.  But I promised my readers truth telling, so here goes…

In my front closet, there is an overabundance of items being stored.  Cluttered would be the correct term to describe the closet.  Over the years, I have been aware that an occasional water bug would appear and disgust myself and my roommate to the point of screaming bloody murder.  One night we lured one into our building’s hallway to commit the murder and you would think our neighbors would have called the police upon hearing the volume of our screams.   If you have never seen a water bug, you are lucky.  Basically they resemble a cockroach drinking Miracle Grow.  I keep a can of maximum strength hornet spray ready for the occasional need to kill.

The problem began last Wed. night when my roommate confessed she found not one, but two water bugs in the closet.  She told me when she opened the door, they ran behind the clutter and she knew they were in hiding.   We became absolutely filled with terror.  We attempted to start taking items out of the closet to find them, but both of us knew we just were too afraid at what we could possibly discover deep inside that closet.   I jumped into “girl action” and called my boyfriend.  He told me he was having dinner with his daughter and was 2 hours away from me.  But he asked the simple question “Leslie do you really need me?”  And I said “yes!”

About 2 and a half hours later he was at my door cleaning the entire closet, killing the bugs, a nest, and stuffing their point of entry with aluminum foil.  All without one complaint.  There was only one moment when I was cowering outside the apartment in the hallway where I heard him exclaim “Oh, sh..!” and since he is a calm man, I knew he found the bug couple.  He described the nest he found inside one of the plastic bags stored in the closet as the “mother ship” and black bagged it up, took it to the outside garbage area, and NEVER complained to me even once.

The point of this story is not to discuss any more these creatures who terrorize myself and my roommate, but to highlight someone I often call a boy becoming a man to me because of these bugs.  I kept thinking of that song from the 80’s “I Need a Hero”.  He was truly my hero.   I want to thank this man for being there for me in my time of need and simply helping me make my life a little easier.  My roommate thanks him too.

In thinking back to all of my long-term relationships, I’m not sure any one of my “past life boys” would have driven that far late at night.  He even had to get up early the next day for his job, but he came with no complaints just to help me out.  Look for this quality in a good man.  They are out there.

Thanks for reading.  Hope I didn’t give you bug nightmares!


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