Feeling whole without a boy…


gal photo

I would like to take the opportunity to thank a wise former co-worker for helping me come up with this weeks “boy addiction” topic:  As a woman, you can be whole and complete without a boy.  As most of you who read me know me fairly well by now, you know I struggle with “boy addiction” and with learning to feel whole without a boy.  I think many women struggle with this concept.  I think many boys know this and take full advantage of this.  I know that when I chose to be alone it is because I am working on my “wholeness” and I am getting better and better at it.

Over the years, it has become very powerful for me to tell a boy that I’m ok with being alone.  I often get criticized for making this hard choice.  I hear things like “I am selfish”, “I am crazy”, and “I am doing something wrong”.  It hurts to hear these things.  This hurt can push me to try to be with boys who are wrong for me because I feel I am “not normal”.  It is a couples world and feeling lonely can be very painful (as I blogged about last week).

I am discovering, as I write today, that I am whole!  I am complete.  I do not need to find my “other half” because I possess both of my halves – the half who is healthy and running and filled with joy and the half who gets lonely and hurts and feels the pain of not being in a relationship.  What makes me realize that I am whole is that I can openly talk about my feelings and people love and value me for this.  So I know I’m on the right track.  I never regret living my life out loud as this is who I am.  The whole Leslie!  It’s nice to love the whole me.

So boys will come and go.  And if I happen to meet my man – he is not going to complete me.  He is going to challenge me to affirm my wholeness.  He is going to love and accept me exactly the way I am because I have learned to do this for myself.  And once again, I must thank my friends and family for being instrumental in helping me to feel whole.  Last night I had such quality time with friends who love me just for being me.  I put on no act for them.  So I plan to put on no act for any boy.

Just the way God loves us all exactly as we are, look for the people in your lives who do this for you.  This is especially important if you do not feel whole in the relationship you currently in.  YOU ARE WHOLE!  You are so completely and unconditionally loved.  Let the universe send you great people to affirm this.  Perhaps one day I will meet my man.  Perhaps not.  But recovering from boy addiction is where it’s at for this whole gal.

Thanks for reading!


3 thoughts on “Feeling whole without a boy…

  1. If you happen to meet your man – he is going to complement you, and don’t forget you’d complement him as well. (Just google complement vs. complete!) You won’t need to fix each other. But it takes time to find out if he’s the man. Good for you working on yourself to get whole and stay whole!

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