Beware of generic boy…


Happy Sunday daters and readers.  I am really enjoying this beautiful warm spring-like December day.  I’m reminiscing again on an old school boy I dated in my twenties.   I was thinking about him as a good boy, but for some reason I never felt attracted to him. Looking back, I realize it was because he was “generic boy.”   Allow me to explain what I mean by this.

About 20 years ago I was out with my posse of single female friends for our Friday night go out to the bar and mingle with boys ritual.   He was tall, dark and attractive.  Friendly, great job, very nice and very generic.  By this I mean that I could not scratch his surface and have deeper more meaningful conversations with him.   I could tell he liked me but he had nothing to offer on a more intimate emotional level.   As I get older I realize how much I value the ability of my romantic partner to be emotionally available to me.

He did ask me out and we had some nice dates, but yet the conversation never turned to a deeper level.   It was always generic and I never felt I got to know him in any meaningful way.   What I have learned since the times I dated him was that he in fact had a serious girlfriend he wound up marrying.   He was trying me out while he was in a relationship with her.   He must have been to afraid to admit this to me.  Thank goodness I never got romantically involved with him.  My gutt instinct protected me from him.

Usually if someone is behaving as I would describe as generically, they are hiding a secret from you.  This seems to be my experience anyway with boys behaving superficially.    If you are dating a boy who cannot delve deeper with you into a more meaningful conversation then my advice is to walk away.  My man will need to be my friend, emotional availability a must have.   If it is not there, there is a good reason. Keep dating!

Thank you for reading.


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