Happy Sunday and happy boy addict blog day. This one is dedicated to my beloved running partner Rose who imparts magnificent words of wisdom along our running escapades together. She has shared so much of her brilliance with me. A favorite one that is very pertinent to this blog she shared with me a few years ago during one of my “crazy dating stories”. She knows I am quick to accept boys as they are and I’m quick to think a boy is “so nice”. She also knows that after saying how nice a boy is, a few weeks later I’m declaring him yet another “bad boy” and not for me. One day she simply said to me “Leslie, you are not allowed to tell me a boy is nice for 6 months”. We both laughed, but over time I see more and more the value in this.
These words have so much meaning to me, I take them into every dating experience. With my last 4 month relationship, I told him early on “Rose asked me to not say you are nice for at least 6 months”. In fact, during his break up with me, he used Rose’s words saying to me “I should have listened to Rose”. As much as this hurts because he broke up with me, I realize the value in waiting to “fall in love”. It takes so much time to really get to know someone and to know if they are a “fit” for you. Clearly, for whatever his reasons, I wasn’t his “fit” and I recognize this was mature of him to let me go before things got worse. I get it.
Rose is beyond great. We ran 20 miles together yesterday and whenever I need to, she simply gives me permission to feel my feelings. She accepts me just the way I am. And once again, she asked me to think about more words of her wisdom. She asked “Leslie, can you give 6 months to yourself”. Now what is more brilliant than this?
The only way to truly learn to love is with at least 6 months of time spent getting to know someone. Heck, why not six months of time getting to know myself? I think giving this to myself is beyond invaluable. What do you think?
Thank you Rose and thank you for reading.