Don’t write the script when dating…

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Happy Sunday and happy boy addict blog day.  Thank you always for reading.  Without readers, I wouldn’t write. I am always thankful.  Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend who advised me not to “write the script” when dating.  I laughed as I was told this because my friend didn’t know I write a blog and that “writing the script” is simply who I am.  What exactly did my friend mean by this?  I thought it a great topic to delve into further.

In dating, it is very easy to make assumptions based on where I am coming from.  I think most people, especially women, have a tendency to do this.  We analyze, “read into” and over-think the behaviors of the opposite sex in ways that may simply be very incorrect.  For example, when I am on a date if the boy doesn’t seem affectionate I assume he is just not that into me.  But perhaps this is not the case at all.  Perhaps he is simply nervous or being cautious.  After the date, I may blog about “he’s just not that into me”.   I have loads of girlfriends who validate my opinion with me.  I realize my opinion may not be his reality.  It is mine.  And it is ok.

There are ways to deal with “writing the script”.  My friend said if I am starting to form opinions in my dating that could be wrong, I should simply ask him if I am correct in my assumptions.  Well, in dating, this is easier said than done.  Dating is hard.  If I don’t know the boy that well and I may not be comfortable coming out and asking him “what do you think of me”.  So I go on the cues I get from him (or don’t get as the case may be).  Dating in part is about “writing the script” so you can decide if you should continue on or stop.  Reality is, if you feel comfortable talking to him and asking the hard questions that make you vulnerable, you may have found the right one.  All the rest is simply dating.

Taking time off to contemplate the deeper aspects of dating is very therapeutic for me.  I’m looking forward to getting back into the dating world, but taking my time…

 

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