75 years of man…

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Happy Sunday and happy boy addict blog day.   If you will so indulge me, I would like to take this opportunity today to honor my idea of a true man…my Dad.   I have the privilege of spending his 75th birthday with him here in Maine as a good friend of his recently purchased a motel here.   He really wanted to spend time here for his big day and with my mother’s blessing (as she is unable to travel) here we are.  To honor his big birthday, I would like to explain what makes my Dad a man.

Since the day I was born, my Dad has always lived for his wife, my brother and I. What has always made him happy was whatever made us happy.   He sacrificed his time, money, and personal desires to give his all to us.   He has been our rock.   I always knew if I fell, Dad would catch me and never let me stay down for long.   I can give numerous examples, but my #1 was getting me through my divorce.   I would have never made it without him.

My Dad is kind to everyone he meets.   I am watching him this trip.  He is always smiling, holding doors for others, and strikes up conversations with friendly faces.   He never discriminates.   He does have a good sense for those who are not good, but instead of being rude he is simply quiet sending me a message to keep away.   As I get older I have learned to take his cues.

He is very honest.  I have NEVER known my Dad to lie.  I joke he is Abe Lincoln in this way.   He is sometimes honest to a fault causing some embarrassment without meaning to.  For example, one time a woman in his church asked me where my husband was and Dad responded “oh, he disappeared”.   I turned beet red, but it was the truth.

He is proud of us – his children.  He wears it on his sleeve.  The older I get the more I want to make him proud.   He often is saddened by seeing good women with bad boys.  He almost cannot understand it and over the years has attributed it to a woman’s low self esteem.   Because of this I choose to be single and wait for a man to value me the way my Dad does.

Happy 75th man Dad!  And to the men out there and boys…you have much to learn.

Thank you for reading.

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“Man’s Rejection is God’s Protection”

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Happy Sunday and Happy Boy Addict Blog Day.  I did a quick internet search to learn that the above quote is based in Christianity and the belief that if a human being pushes you away, trust that God is leading you along a better path.  The path God wants you to be on.  I learned this quote in my 20’s and it resonated well with me the first time a boy rejected me.  Since I first learned this expression I carry it in my heart and pull it out when I need it.

Internet dating is hard.  For me, I have not found my match.  What I have found is many boys who are hurtful.  Internet dating breeds a heartless mind set among many of the boys I’ve met on-line.  To internet boys, women on the net are just a number and when the boy has used her up he can easily toss her aside and move on to the next.  To me, this is a total disregard for the fact that women are REAL and have FEELINGS.  We are not objects to be made to feel disposable.  This is why I write.  This is why I warn women that if you are dating on the internet be aware that you must protect your heart, mind and self esteem.

I always go back in my mind to remind myself that with every rejection, there is a lesson.  Perhaps God wants me to improve in a certain area of my life and he is sending me a teacher to show me the way.  I try to take advantage of the lesson and keep it moving.  I try never to let a boy “break my stride”.   I think internet dating makes it very easy for boys to assume there is a “never ending” supply of good women out there.  I actually have had many boys tell me there are good women on the internet, and that women tell them the boys on the internet are “crazy” and “psycho”.  The balance seems off in my experience and this is why writing and warning seem to be working for me.

Truth be told, so much of our world is artificial.  It is so easy to make the push of a button and buy a new car, buy new clothing, buy groceries, or buy a woman.  It is also easy to push the button and make an “exchange”.  Boys view women as material objects.  When one stops making him feel good, he pushes a button and is onto the next.  EASY!  And to me, very sad.  Why working on myself is working for me.  I know I’m a quality person who is very much appreciated by so many in my life.  If boys want to “discard” me then that is too bad for them.  My man will never dream of pushing a button to do away with me.  My man is worth my wait.

In the mean time, I dedicate this blog to my gratitude to God for protecting me.  BOYS — take note!  REJECT ME ALL YOU WANT!  This is my greatest blessing.  You are making way for my man…

Birthday gifts…

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Happy Sunday and happy boy addict blog day.  Yesterday was my 45th birthday and I’m proud.  I’m proud for many reasons.  I made it to the prime of my middle age in good health, with great family and friends, a successful career and a stable living situation.  My 16 year old cat Missy is doing well despite her senior citizen status.  Even though my life is not the life I pictured to to be, it is a happy life.  One I live one day at a time.  This is a blessing.

My birthdays keep getting better and better too as I age.  I’m indulged with incredible cards and gifts and surprises.  This year, my oldest and dearest friend of 30 years (who I met on our high school track when I was 15) surprised me with a lovely fresh fruit arrangement at my job.  My brother and his wife surprised me with the most lovely flower arrangement I’ve ever received.   The colors are astounding.  The happy birthday greetings I received on Facebook where so intense I couldn’t click “like” on everyone’s birthday wishes there were so many.  My blog is doing very well.  I’m at my annual professional conference right now and someone who I only see once a year came up to me saying he really enjoys reading me.  Good stuff.

So you may ask yourself, why is she talking all about her birthday gifts?  Because each year I celebrate my birthday I’m thankful for the fact that I have no boys bringing me down.  I am acutely aware that “bad boy decisions” I made in my past took years off my life.  My attempt to be “clean and sober” of these boys is paying off.  I feel as if each year while I am maturing in my decision making for a healthier life, I am looking younger and feeling more energetic.  I’m living life on my terms no being afraid to be alone. In fact, lately I enjoy my time spent alone.  I can more easily dine alone at restaurants, travel alone, run alone, do many things alone and I look forward to my alone time.

In my younger days, I never wanted to be alone.  Not having a boy around at that time to me meant I felt hollow inside.  Today not having a boy around means I’m full of the things I love the most – full of self love and self care.  This draws in the positive.  Nothing but birthday gifts.

Happy birthday to me.  Thank you for reading – the best gift ever.

Return of the Blue Bag, Pouch, Box…

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Happy Sunday and happy boy addict blog day.   Since I am on a dating hiatus it is time to once again go “old school”.   I was about 26 and he was a cute boy introduced to me by friends.   I quickly could see he had incredible artistic talents.  He showed me his paintings that were astounding.  He borrowed an acoustic guitar I had been taking lessons on for 3 years failing miserably, and he was playing like a pro in a matter of a week.   He had incredible taste in music, introducing me to the musical love of my life the Dave Matthews Band. All seemed to be going well with the exception of a major issue.  He was a boy.

He was from a rather large family of siblings and was the only one who refused to leave home.  He had a low paying job and with his Mom looking out for him, little incentive.  He did try hard to please me.  He treated me to a romantic candlelit dinner at a gorgeous restaurant by the water where he presented me with the powerful blue bag, pouch and box which caused women from across the room to raise eyebrows and express their curiosity as to the contents.   I suppose the gift represented foreshadowing as on a lovely inscribed sterling silver charm heart bracelet read the words “return to Tiffanys”.  This inscription turned out to be the popular style for that year.

We continued our relationship for about 6 months when I realized the night he asked me for $5 in gas money to get home that it was time to end my time with him.  I broke it to him gently and he seemed to take it as well as a boy could, but the next morning I awoke to the following e-mail:   “Hi Leslie.  I know I need to return your guitar.  Before I do I will need from you the blue bag, pouch, box and bracelet.   Appreciate.”  Upon reading this, I must admit I was pretty shocked. My roommate at the time In her infinite wisdom told me to get my guitar back.

So I packed up that return to Tiffanys charm bracelet with the box, pouch and bag and had him pick it up at the front desk of my job.  He did leave my guitar I’m happy to report.   And he left me with my new found passion for the Dave Matthews Band.

What brought back this memory was he passed me recently when I was out having a drink with a friend.   I never acknowledged him nor did he acknowledge me.   I wonder if he remembers the return of the blue?   I certainly will never forget.

Thanks for reading old school boy addict…