A Symptom of Boy Addiction…dating

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Happy Sunday everyone.  So I have been dating one person for some time now and he at times gets frustrated when I tell him my dating stories.  He knows I blog and I tell funny stories to entertain my friends.    If I were in his shoes, I totally understand where he is coming from.  Who wants to hear about someone’s old boyfriends and/or dates?  BUT what he fails to understand is that I am a boy addict trying to be clean and sober.  It is no different from an alcoholic who is trying to maintain sobriety by sharing his/her drunken stories of the past.  I am trying to limit the “past date” talk with him out of respect for him, but it is hard because this is so much a part of who I am.  After all, it is a big reason you read me – and thank you!

Dating one nice person is helping keep me clean and sober.  Being on the internet and meeting boys is exhausting.  So in thinking about all of this, I still wonder why I feel the need to be with someone.   I am pretty solid as a single person.  I hold a demanding job, pay my own bills, manage all of my affairs, keep an active life with great friends, and help out my family as I can. Do I really need a partner to complete me?  Nope.  I’m not sure the person I’m dating really likes hearing this, but this is my truth.

One the other hand, I like having him around.  He is kind, patient, caring and very handy.  He has been helping me clean and fix up my apartment.  He is a very neat person and for those of you who know me, you know I am “messy Lessy” (thanks for the nickname Mom) so he is helping me clean up my act.  What I am learning by spending time with him is that we can enjoy each other’s company, support each other in life, and keep doing the things that make us our “own people”.   This is the beauty of dating in middle age.  As you know I’m finally in a place where “I gotta be me”.

Since I am not running it is nice to have another around to help fill that void.  I just need to keep my addictive personality in check.  I’m finding myself quickly becoming a bit of a workaholic with my new job, but I do love it – so all good.

One very nice aspect of our relationship is that he likes to take long walks with me.  This helps feed my need to keep moving and he respects this about me.    I like spending time with him.  I feel that it helps keep my boy addiction in check.  Chronic dating has been harmful to my health.  Lets hope I can stick this out and be true to me at the same time.  One day at a time.

 

Thanks for reading.

Trust and Honesty

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Happy Sunday.  It has been awhile since I have blogged.  Mostly because my life has had a lot of changes and I’ve been in a state of transition.  I began a new job, my injury prohibits me from running, and I have begun dating again.  Very slow and steady.  The topic on my mind today is trust.  In terms of meeting a person and dating a boy or a man, the most important things in developing a meaningful relationship is trust and honesty.   They go hand in hand.  szaw What this means for me is that I be honest about who I am with my partner.  And I make no apologies for who I am or my life up to this point.  Lets face it.  I’m 45 and as my readers know I have quite a past with boys.  You could say I’m a bit jaded or you could say I’ve learned to be me no matter what.

I tell people I have “post traumatic boy disorder”.  I have been through so much with members of the opposite sex that sometimes I feel I am better off being single.  Bringing another into my world in my past has meant stress, drama, upset and hard knocks.  I’m not saying this to be doom and gloom, I’m saying this to help others understand that being alone is ok.  I have learned I never need another to complete me.  I’m the “real deal” all on my own.  It took me years to get to this place.  I’m happy to be here.

However, I am a relationship person and I do enjoy a nice person who seems to care for my well being.  Who wouldn’t?  Isn’t this what we are all seeking?   I have a zero tolerance for anyone who wants me to change who I am.  Today I’m very proud of who I am, where I came from, and where I’m going.    I can honestly say that the unconditional love I receive from my family, friends, and my kitty helped me get to this place.  Today I realize that by being single and not having children, I am still whole and have so much to offer the people in my life.  Just like you have been there for me, I am here for you.

If I stay with a man because he is worthy, he will welcome my world into his life.  One day at a time.  No need to rush anything.  As long as I am completely honest anyone who chooses to be with me make this choice.  The choice is mine too.  As Matchbox Twenty singer Rob Thomas sings “Maybe Someday We’ll Live Our Lives Out Loud, We’ll Be Better Off Somehow, Someday”.  I challenge you to be who you are and live your life out loud!  There is no shame in my game, nor yours.  Only truth telling and learning to trust.   Thank you for reading.