A Symptom of Boy Addiction…dating

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Happy Sunday everyone.  So I have been dating one person for some time now and he at times gets frustrated when I tell him my dating stories.  He knows I blog and I tell funny stories to entertain my friends.    If I were in his shoes, I totally understand where he is coming from.  Who wants to hear about someone’s old boyfriends and/or dates?  BUT what he fails to understand is that I am a boy addict trying to be clean and sober.  It is no different from an alcoholic who is trying to maintain sobriety by sharing his/her drunken stories of the past.  I am trying to limit the “past date” talk with him out of respect for him, but it is hard because this is so much a part of who I am.  After all, it is a big reason you read me – and thank you!

Dating one nice person is helping keep me clean and sober.  Being on the internet and meeting boys is exhausting.  So in thinking about all of this, I still wonder why I feel the need to be with someone.   I am pretty solid as a single person.  I hold a demanding job, pay my own bills, manage all of my affairs, keep an active life with great friends, and help out my family as I can. Do I really need a partner to complete me?  Nope.  I’m not sure the person I’m dating really likes hearing this, but this is my truth.

One the other hand, I like having him around.  He is kind, patient, caring and very handy.  He has been helping me clean and fix up my apartment.  He is a very neat person and for those of you who know me, you know I am “messy Lessy” (thanks for the nickname Mom) so he is helping me clean up my act.  What I am learning by spending time with him is that we can enjoy each other’s company, support each other in life, and keep doing the things that make us our “own people”.   This is the beauty of dating in middle age.  As you know I’m finally in a place where “I gotta be me”.

Since I am not running it is nice to have another around to help fill that void.  I just need to keep my addictive personality in check.  I’m finding myself quickly becoming a bit of a workaholic with my new job, but I do love it – so all good.

One very nice aspect of our relationship is that he likes to take long walks with me.  This helps feed my need to keep moving and he respects this about me.    I like spending time with him.  I feel that it helps keep my boy addiction in check.  Chronic dating has been harmful to my health.  Lets hope I can stick this out and be true to me at the same time.  One day at a time.

 

Thanks for reading.

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2 thoughts on “A Symptom of Boy Addiction…dating

  1. wunder

    Seriously? “It is no different from an alcoholic “?? You should know better than to claim that. Being so-called boy addicted is NOTHING like having the lifelong disease of being an alcoholic.

    Grow up and respect this kind person who is spending his life energy “filling the void” that is left by your currently unfulfilled running addiction.

    Yes, we need to love ourselves, and be good to ourselves, but you will not find the relationship you seek if you don’t see that you must also respect the person you are with too. If you need to rehash old relationships, talk to your girlfriends or your shrink, and give your man a break!

    • While I tend to shy away from readers who sound like abusers, I respect this opinion. Why I decided to post this comment. I learn and grow from every person who reads and comments. Why exposing my personal self is hard but I believe makes me a better/stronger person. All I can say is that those who know me know 1. I never ever took the disease of alcoholism lightly. I have the utmost respect for those in recovery. I have spent many years dealing with those suffering and helping them. 2. I respect everyone who comes into my world. Boys and men get complete respect from me. I even share this blog with them so they know my truth. There is no shame in my game. I am happy to tell my story to my shrink, my girlfriends, and the man I am currently dating. He is certainly not running from me! A quick question to you…are you an ex of mine? Peace to you.

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