Trust…

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Happy Sunday and happy boy addict blog day.   Once again I’m attempting a relationship with a seemingly sweet boy/man and scared to death.    I’m so afraid that sadly I’ve realized that I’ve probably traumatized him.  Yet he hangs in there, so perhaps he could possibly be my man.   Well, you all know I’ve been here before and that it takes loads of time to get to know another in order to trust.

In the mean time, I contemplate my past and all the crazy boys who I was addicted to who helped me reach a new level of consciousness in my life.   In my new space, I feel fairly ok about doing things alone.   I don’t feel the burning desire to always have a boy next to me.   I’m focusing on decreasing my drama so I can focus on a very busy job.   I’m focusing on eating better and trying to heal my injury praying I can run again.

I’m focusing on my family who need my attention as we all are getting older and coping with the things that happen to our aging bodies and minds.   I’m focusing on our “reality television show” presidential election praying that love destroys hate.  I’m focusing on my friends and their children including my nephews.   After all, they think I’m cool and staying cool is a hard reputation to keep up.   I’m focusing on cleaning up my apartment so my terrific new roommate and I can live in a serene environment.   I must admit that my new boy/man has been wonderful in terms of helping me clean up my home.    He is making my life a bit easier….hmmmmmmmmmmm

Well, this is where I’m at today.   Always struggling with my life journey’s deep question.    “Is this a boy I could be addicted to OR is this my man truly bringing joy into my life”.   I’ll TRUST my process of time…lots of time.

Thank you for reading.

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