Coping with change

Standard

Isn’t it funny that I often think about when I was young and picturing my future, I thought by the time I reached my 40’s I would be very stable in life.  I would have the house, 2 children (a boy and a girl of course),  2 cars with a garage for both, an amazing husband and of course the white picket fence.  I chuckle with my father over this today.  What I have learned in my life is that my life is NOTHING as I pictured it to be when I was a young girl.    I have learned this doesn’t make my life a bad life.  In fact, I think I have grown into a great life for me.

What I also realize is that what makes my life pretty exciting is that I have had to cope with many changes.  OVER AND OVER.  I’m pretty sure I’ve become an expert at change.  I once counted that I moved my physical home 15 times in 20 years.  That is most certainly a lot of change.  The next logical question to ask is WHY?  Certainly boy addiction has played a big role.  Thinking I have settled down with a boy only to discover I’m with the wrong boy is a big factor in my many moves and changes.    But as promised for 2017, I would like to dig deeper and think positively about my life and how it has made me even stronger today.  My ability to cope with change has been stellar.  Here is a few tips to perhaps help my readers cope with changes in their own lives.

  1.  ALWAYS SEEK HAPPINESS.  I have been lucky enough to realize that my own happiness is a very important factor in my life.  I am very willing to remove myself from any situation that does not make me happy.  I am lucky enough to have an emotional chemistry inside of me that can never stay in a place where I feel uncomfortable.  I’ve never been a person who can live in denial for too long and “pretend” I’m ok in an unhappy situation.  This is a huge blessing for me.  Of course I had to sacrifice many things along the way to put myself in happier situations.  One of my major sacrifices was never having children.  It was not a decision I ever thought I would make and quite honestly, I never made it.  I just chose to keep myself safe and happy.  Children were not in God’s plan for me as a result.   I am at a much greater acceptance of this today.  And a happy byproduct is that my nephews and my friends children really think I’m cool!
  2. YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON.  People are who they are.  It is so difficult to be in a relationship built around acceptance.  People are so complex and I think it takes years and years to find the person you can truly accept.  I have always been open to thinking this may not happen in one lifetime.  If you are in a situation where you realize you want to change the other person, the best advice I can give you is that YOU CANNOT.  Give up.  Work on coping skills to make yourself happy and let go of thinking you can change another.  Running is a great activity to get you focused on you.  Writing is too.  Volunteering for a political cause you are passionate about is really needed today.  If you are a parent focusing on quality time with your children is key.  There are so many strategies to take you out of your problems and put you into positive solutions.  It starts with not focusing your energies on changing another.  I learned for so many years I will NEVER change a boy and sadly I admit I wasted a good amount of my quality time on this earth.  NO MORE!
  3. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.  Probably the healthiest thing I can do for myself is speak my truth.  This has been a big catalyst to leading me to make so many changes in my life.  It is difficult to find people and environments, both professionally and personally, that will help you to live in your truth.  I realize I have made many changes in my life:  housing, relationship, career, etc. to find the place where I am comfortable enough to speak my truth.  This blog is a wonderful safe place for me to do this.  Thank you readers.
  4. TRY NOT TO FEED YOUR FEAR.  Fear is a powerful enemy against making a change.  This is where I pray to God daily to help keep me in healthier situations and to help decrease my fears.  Fear has been a true enemy for me.  I remember when I signed up for my first marathon in NY, I couldn’t sleep the whole night thinking I made a mistake and could NEVER run 26.2 miles.  18 marathons under my belt,  I learned most of my fears are not valid.  My gut instincts and passions can push me past my fears if I “just do it” of course with the help of God.  Overcoming fears is a huge factor in learning to cope with change for a better life.  Think about your fears and what may be holding you back from putting yourself in a happier place.  Deep stuff, but so important.

 

“The only thing constant in life is change” – French author Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Look around your life and ask yourself is it time to make a change.  Perhaps the change is small.  I always say when you move a muscle you can change your heart.  Sometimes the change may be as simple as a daily walk to honor your “you time”.  Perhaps the change is large like moving your living space or changing your job to put you in a healthier environment.  I’m happy to announce I’m staring a new job on Monday.  And while there is loads of fear involved, I’m “going for it” with passion for the elderly people I have always held so deep in my heart.  God knows my heart, so I trust the rest will fall into place.  AND IF NOT, there is always coping with change.

 

Thank you for reading.

Advertisements

Women are Strong

Standard

img_8205

img_8254

I have always believed women are the stronger sex. History has proved this time and time again. I remember my 12th grade English teacher telling my class women are physically designed to survive starvation. She told us a woman’s body has a much larger percentage of body fat than a man’s in order to carry offspring for nine months and potentially survive famine to accomplish survival of the human race. I chuckle to myself especially when my body fat is high thinking I could outlive a boy by at least a full year in the event of a starvation.

I very recently had the blessing to travel to Zurich Switzerland where I learned during a City tour that many years ago during war time the women of the City banded together to save the City from attack. All the men in the City were off fighting battles and when enemy soldiers approached Zurich all the women gathered cooking utensils and pots/pans. They gathered together at the highest point in City Center banging their cooking paraphernalia to make so much noise that it frightened off the encroaching enemy male soldiers. This group of women ended up saving the City from attack. Go POWERCHICKS !

I’m writing about this as we sadly now have a President who does not value the power of strong women. I was so very proud to learn on my Facebook all my friends who marched for womens’ equality this past Saturday. It reminds me how blessed I am to live where I live and to have the freedoms I have even to write this blog. I have offended many a boy in my writings but not one can ever stop me from speaking my truth and living life on my terms.

Traveling in other countries I am always reminded living in metropolitan New York affords me more POWERCHICK luxuries than I could have ever dreamed of. The lesson I’d like to impart on my readers as I write is that women deserve all the love and respect they continue to work hard for every day of our life.

If you happen to be a boy reading this heed my warning. WE DO NOT NEED YOU but if you respect our worth we do want you.  We can survive starvation, protect our homes/cities, express our truths and refuse to live in fear. We have the beauty and the brains to stay or go per our choice. If you have a strong woman in your life please know her worth. And know you can NEVER become a real man without her.

Thank you for reading.

New Beginnings…

Standard

2017-pic

Happy Sunday!  Happy to be back.  2016 has proved to be a tough year for me.  Hence, I have not been a consistent Sunday blogger.  Despite this fact, I have had a lot of time to think and to contemplate about the direction I want to take my life and this blog for 2017.  I find myself describing my blog more as a “woman’s empowerment” blog versus a “boy addict blog”.  To be completely honest, as is always my intent, I’m really tired of my boy addiction.  It casts negative energy over my writing and I’d like to move away from this.  With the advent of electing a “true boy” President, it sickens me to think the world is empowering the qualities of a “boy” that have done nothing but hold me down.  I am a strong, intelligent woman and I do not want any negative boy energy stopping me from sharing the secrets of my success with the world.    I would rather focus on the things about me as a strong woman that help me to improve myself for the upcoming year 2017.   And as always, I so appreciate my readers and truly hope you are happy I’m back.  My goal is to share my successes in the hopes it helps you.

2017 is about “new beginnings” for me.  In 2016, I let the negative energy in my life bring me down.  I realize how easy it is for me to get “sucked into this”.  After all, I sometimes like wallowing in sadness, overeating, indulging in wine, and telling my “crazy boy” stories.  There is truly nothing wrong with this as I do think I needed to slow down and allow my body to heal from some hamstring tears I developed with my running.  So I gave myself this time.  I have been sleeping in, putting too much energy into a job that was draining mine, and allowing my weight to go up very quickly.  I accept this.  It is my current situation and my best friends don’t even seem to notice.  I am so grateful for their unconditional love.  They always take me just the way I am.

HOWEVER, I know the difference between self-care and self-abuse.  I have wallowed too long.  I have loads of positive things around the corner for me in 2017 and it is time to “pull up my big girl panties” and “get back on the Leslie healthy horse”.   This is a promise to my readers that 2017 will be loaded with positive energy and happy, healthy thoughts and actions.  I cannot preach what I am not practicing.  I am so excited to let you know that I have made some great changes both professionally and personally that promise to lend itself to me getting myself back.

In terms of my blog, I promise to move away from the sad stories and move into more sharing of how positive loving thoughts and actions lead to a happy healthier life.  There is no “man” out there who can do this for me.  There is no “boy” out there who can stop me from doing this.  The actions are up to me.  And I certainly know how to do it.

So here is to an exciting 2017!  Fist step for my readers in term so of advice is: smile often and do not let negativity bring you down or take you off a positive course.

Thank you for reading and very happy to be back.